{This post will take about 10 minutes to read or you can listen to an audio recording HERE}

"Once I altered my perspective, my confidence increased significantly.  It no longer mattered what other people thought because I was done punishing myself for something that was out of my control."

The above quote came from Krista Kay, a 6ft, 6-inch women, who is featured this season on TLC's My Giant Life.  (You can read all about her triumphant story in her interview with my amazing blogger friend Cathy Holman: http://prairiewifeinheels.com/prairie-wife-week-krista-kay-tlcs-giant-life/)  Just think about the oodles of inner work she had to do to find peace for "what is" when it came to being so tall so young in life.  Let her journey inspire us to explore together the teachings of surrender.

Surrender is a worthy concept to contemplate.  Why?  The opposite ain't so sexy:

  • fighting with the present moment

  • over-efforting

  • body tension

  • emotionally unstable...(just to name a few.)  

You don't choose not to surrender.  Resistance just sorta happens.  Our lack of letting go may be rooted in unconscious patterns of reaction and a foggy/inaccurate perception of ourselves.  With practice, you can retrain and reframe your lens on life for greater clarity, calm and freedom.  

You ready for a mental workout?  Let's get to it!

So to begin, I need you to recall, in detail, a time when you were in the space of resistance.  When was the last time you found yourself fighting against the "what is," (raw reality) much like Krista Kay?  

Helpful Brainstorms:

  • traffic jams

  • long lines in public

  • moody boss

  • peoples behavior or body odor

  • nasty weather

  • sudden illness or physical injury to you or a loved one

Any of these ring true for you?

"The best way to predict your future is to create it."  President Lincoln

So much of what you want to achieve in life can be obtained through the power of imaginary.  Scientific research reaffirms its high level of effectiveness, but it's an underused skill.   Studies confirm your imagination enhances muscle memory, motor skills, and motivation, so it makes sense to take this approach for enriching your inner life.  Instead of using imagery to achieve external desires, we are are going to use it to gain internal desires like peace, calm, clarity, and steadiness - all things you acquire when you fully surrender.  

"Surrender is the inner transition from resistance to acceptance, from no to yes." Eckhart Tolle
Now, go back to that moment you recalled when it was hard for you to surrender. Visualize that situation.  See the past unfolding inside your mind.  (Close your eyes and take your time.)  You have arrived when the experience becomes apart of your muscles, nerves, and breath.  All three of these will shift into the old resistance you were feeling in that moment.  

Now, see the situation unfolding sans resistance.  If it's the "idiot driver" you meet daily on your commute, then imagine a different reality of what it looks like to surrender.  This will take time.  No need to rush.

Helpful questions:

  • Where does the physical tension get dissolved? (relax my grip on the steering wheel)

  • How does the breath feel when you remain calm and steady?  (breathing deep and smooth in and out from my belly)

  • What thoughts come to your mind?  ("they must be having a bad day," "maybe they didn't see me" "I'm glad we are both still safe.")

But, don't stop there.  Allow your creativity to flow.  Once you have a new picture and experience, replay the positive reaction/feeling over and over again.  That is the mental weightlifting.  And nope, it's not easy.  This won't come on the first rep.  It will take time to see it so vividly that it becomes embedded into the body/mind.  Remember, you need to own this new view.  This is what the athletes do, and it works!  This is what I do when it comes to forgetting peoples names, and it works!  I just have to surrender and ask you your name for the tenth time. (grin)

"When you surrender to what is and so become fully present, the past ceases to have any power." Eckhart Tolle

But here is the big takeaway:  You are LEARNING how to shake yourself loose of this habit and rigid viewpoint, so surrender becomes your first impulse the next time around.  The key word here is LEARN.  You need not be stuck!  Your lens on life, in your space of resistance, can be seen and re-experience from another vantage point.  The more often you loosen your grip on YOUR way of seeing the world (hello there ego!), I can declare with confidence that you will be happier and freer.

Since this isn't an "easy 5 step process" you might hear yourself saying, "hey, that is just the way I am! I hate idiot drivers! Case closed!"  What this thinking invites is a point of view that could fester deeper into other areas of your life.  All moments matter.  All thoughts matter.  If you share this belief, then you will know that it's worth retraining the mind to lift the fog so you can see your life with 20/20 vision.  This inner change needs to unfold in real-time, so patience is key.

"If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live those moments more richly."  Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I think Krista Kay would agree with Anne's words!  Once she altered her perspective on being above average in height, she regained her confidence, and I know, so will you.

Share below and let me know what aspect of surrender you are working on so I can help.